Last month, February 18 to be exact, was my 3 year anniversary at Alexandria Covenant Church. Not long, I know, but still significant. I’ve grown and learned a lot through my time here so far. Here are some of the learning points for me. Most of them are things we all know already, but it’s one thing to know it, another thing to experience it.

1. Anything that’s instant and fast is rarely as good as something that takes time. That’s certainly true with food and it definitely applies to relationships, as well.

2. I can’t have a relationship with every kid in the youth group. With a group of around 200 active students every week, that’s obviously unrealistic, but I’d like to think I can at least have a casual relationship with most of them. Unfortunately, there are some who won’t even make eye contact with me or, if I try to initiate a conversation, it’s like sitting down to talk with a fire hydrant. Kinda disappointing, even hurts a little, but I guess that’s why it’s so important to have such a great team of adult leaders who can connect with the students who avoid me.

3. Sometimes doing the right thing means doing the very unpopular thing. I cash in chips of credibility in order to do what’s best for people when they don’t even know it or like it.

4. People’s perceptions of me usually translate into their perception of the ministry, both the good and the bad. So I try to just be myself and stay true to my values in ministry and hope that it rubs off.

5. I really need to spend more of my time focusing on what I’m good at and be more intentional about delegating everything else, or be content to let a some things slip by.

6. It’s always great to have open and honest communication with your sr. pastor. I definitely value that about my relationship with John, and the mutual respect and trust we share.

7. Not every good idea someone has is a good idea for our ministry. That’s especially true for all the church companies who are competing for our budget dollars, but it’s also true internally regarding ideas from parents, teens, and youth leaders. Sometimes I must be the guardian of the vision to keep us on course. Saying no to a good thing is often very necessary.

8. The pressure to perform and run growing programs is always there, even when no one puts it on you. It’s self-inflicted, probably based on insecurity. I have to be intentional about reminding myself that the focus should be on growing people, not programs, which is often a much slower process. See #1.

One of the main objectives for our trip to Haiti last month was to meet with local pastors, build connections and explore the possibility of coordinating an effort for American churches to partner with them. (My pictures of one such meeting here, here and here.) Thankfully, that objective is now coming to fruition due to Adventures In Missions’s leadership in Haiti.

There’s a couple reasons why I’m very excited about the opportunity for American churches to partner with churches in Haiti.

• Compassion International, World Vision, and many other organizations have already proven that these kinds of partnerships can be mutually edifying for the body of Christ, both for churches in America and in other countries.
• Relief efforts could go to a lot of different organizations in Haiti, but this is an opportunity for relief to go through the body of Christ in Haiti, directly to the people from people who are already known and trusted in their communities.
• Every single pastor I met in Haiti is a rock-solid spiritual leader. In fact, this man is probably the wisest pastor I’ve ever met. Just sitting near him, listening to him speak and pray left all of us on the team with a sense of awe. These men are tremendous spiritual leaders who are well respected.
• Through Adventures In Missions, you can visit your Haitian partnership church, both in the short-term and in the future.
• The need is so great in Haiti right now, especially as the rainy season is upon them with very few shelters. Our support can help the Haitian churches rise up and be both a spiritual and physical shelter in their communities.
• The average Haitian lives on an average of $400/year, so small amounts of money can make a very significant impact. That means American churches of any size, of any financial status, can make a huge difference.

Here’s a video from our trip about the Haiti Church to Church Partnership.

MORE INFO: If you’re interested in learning more about partnering with a church in Haiti, read more about the Haiti Church to Church partnership on Adventures In Missions’ website. An AIM representative will be happy to contact you personally about the partnership opportunities and talk through it with you, as well. Just use the contact form on their site.

Then come back here and post in the comments below if make a commitment to a Haitian church. I’d love to hear about it!

If you work with teenagers and need some encouragement today, watch this video.

[ ht Greg Stier ]

It’s ironic that churches are all about promoting change in people’s lives, but change in its own ministry is often met with great resistance. The church strives for changing lives, but rarely for changing ministry. This often frustrates youth workers to no end because we’re typically young, arrogant, full of new ideas, adventurous and willing to take risks if for no other reason than to get a good adrenaline rush.

Youth ministry, more than any other area of ministry, continually changes. The faces in our youth groups change, the teenagers themselves are in a constant state of physical and emotional change, youth culture changes month to month, and often we spend a considerable amount of time thinking of ways to make this week’s youth meeting different from the last. It’s no wonder that youth ministries are naturally used to change, but we have to remember that youth ministry is unique from the rest of the church in this regard. Change is never neutral for the church. We cannot promote change without expecting some side affects.

Why do churches change so slowly?

• Churches view themselves as guardians of tradition. They see a lot of change around them and most of it is negative. Unfortunately, they become guardians of cultural traditions, not Biblical or doctrinal traditions. Whenever churches have a history that they appreciate, there is an emotional bond to hold on to that.
• We operate like “family” in church. When we’re hired, we sometimes feel like an outsider for a while because there’s a system in place that is unfamiliar to us. It takes some time to learn the system, just like we’d expect if we joined a new family. Families are weird sometimes.
• We have a fuzzy bottom line. Many churches are wrestling with big questions, like, “What does success look like?” The church’s vision is often weak, it’s sense of identity is unclear and it’s direction is stagnant. When they hire a new youth pastor, they do so with a certain set of criteria, but what criteria will they use in two years to say, “We’re really glad our new youth pastor is here.” The same criteria or something different? The bottom line is fuzzy.
• Church members are tired. “Church system people” are tired of change. Most people in their 50s and older are scared and tired of change. They want church, unlike their workplace, to feel stable. Youth pastors often don’t have enough track record to compel these people to invite change. When we say to someone, “I have a new idea,” we have to realize two things. First, change will require work from them and most people are already tired. Secondly, when we suggest change, it will require more work for us. We can only make it through the change if we believe that the short-term pain will be worth it in the end.
• Few pastors consider themselves gifted leaders. Interesting, but true. Pastors see themselves as caregivers, teachers, and relational ministers, not always as leaders. Thus, some pastors lack the courage and desire to implement change in the first place. They feel quite comfortable doing what they love and are best at — loving people.
• We have an intergenerational church. Some youth pastors become so frustrated that we leave the church, call ourselves church planters and start our own church thinking that we can finally build the church of our dreams without the older people who resist our ideas for change. What we fail to realize is that if the church actually lasts, in 20 years it’ll be intergenerational again. The church was meant to be intergenerational! We need to embrace the diversity and learn to work with our brothers and sisters in Christ rather than canning them in order to build an institution of our own ideologies. If we don’t like the diversity here, we’ll hate heaven!

Church people are guardians of tradition. If we inadvertently communicate that their old way is bad and that our new way is good, the resistance will skyrocket. Don’t do that! We need to be careful how we approach change. Both the process and communication are huge. As youth workers, we tend to be driven by the results, not the process. We’re excited and motivated to rush for the end result, but if we ever want to see that end result, we have to be willing to progress slowly down the path that will take us there, always communicating and expressing value and appreciation for the old idea while embracing the new. Remember, we’re not leaders if no one is following, so go slow.

Read the rest of this series:
Navigating the church system (1 of 5): Youth workers need help!
Navigating the church system (2 of 5): Leadership tensions
Navigating the church system (4 of 5): Understanding the adoption curve
Navigating the church system (5 of 5): Common mistakes by youth pastors

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The above material is based on Tiger McLuen’s seminar, “Surviving as a youth worker in an imperfect church.” Used and edited with permission. Thanks, Tiger!

In the summer of 2000 I was ecstatic to lead my very first youth group at a church in Virginia Beach, Virginia. With two years of Bible college and a 1-year internship under my belt, I thought I was ready to take this group by storm and radically change every life for Christ. I was pumped! Although it started well despite my unrealistic expectations, I quickly learned a very important lesson about ministry leadership: almost everyone has a different idea of what ministry looks like and how it should be done and somehow I needed to work with them all. Everyone in the church agreed with my game plan at the very beginning, but only a few short weeks later I was so frustrated, hurt and angry that I wanted to quit and go home. The pastor asked me to do all the “dirty work” he didn’t want to do, parents complained to the deacons that the group wasn’t growing larger yet, the kids wanted me to go play basketball, the elderly banned us from half the church building because we broke too much stuff, and no one thought I was putting in enough work hours. There was so much tension and opposing expectations from so many different people that I felt I might collapse under all the pressure.

The tensions of leadership
1. The tension of results. (What?) This tension comes from various sources. Some of it comes from the people in our ministry who want to know what we’re doing and what it’s going to produce. Other times it is self-inflicted, thinking, “I need to produce results so people think I’m worth something in this position.” Unfortunately, attendance growth become the default results we look for, but it could also be a myriad of other things, such as a perceived level of acceptance and approval from church members and other community youth workers. We need to lead with people who push for results, results, and more results.

2. The tension of relationships. (Who?) There’s also time that needs to be invested into people. Of course there’s students, but there’s also parents, our Sr. Pastor, church members, other co-workers, community organizations, businesses that offer donations, school teachers, athletic coaches, not to mention our own families. Spending adequate time building all these relationships could be a full-time job all by itself!

3. The tension of the process. (How?) Results are one thing, but getting those results is a tension of formulating a plan and getting others on board. Building relationships also takes a plan. Nothing just happens by itself. If the ministry is going exist at all, it will require that there’s a process for reaching goals, even if the goals aren’t explicitly stated.

A youth pastor’s relationships
As leaders it’s critical that we have a healthy self-image because others will often be more than happy to challenge it. If it’s dependent on what other people think and say, navigating the church system will be impossible. We’ll always be running around with our tail between our legs, trying to please everyone, saying YES to everything, and burning out faster than a cardboard match. That’s not being a leader — that’s following everyone else.

When our own self-identity is secure, all the other relationships surround it.

• Students. Most of the time when youth workers are released from their jobs it’s because we’re struggling in an area outside of the kids. We aren’t usually fired because we’re bad with students. Actually, this is usually where we excel because the reason we go into youth ministry in the first place is because we love kids so much. Most of our problems in ministry lie elsewhere.
• Parents. We have a unique relationship with parents because they pay our salary, they have a clear perception of what they want from the youth ministry and we try our best to partner with them. When one of those latter two aspects gets a little out of sync, it can be a big mess.
• Sr. Pastor. The greatest variable to a youth pastor’s long-term success is the relationship with the Sr. Pastor. They will either be our biggest ally or our worst enemy. Respect their wisdom and communicate often.
• Other staff. Hopefully our co-workers see us as professionals because we treat them with respect and handle ourselves with maturity. Sometimes we have to wear a different hat with each person, but that goes along with the ministry territory anyway.
• Other adults. There are committee members, parents, leadership team, board members, volunteers, senior citizens, etc. We speak at women’s meetings, board meetings, and annual meetings not because it’s just another “speed bump,” but because that’s where we earn respect and establish credibility in their eyes.
• Peers. Hopefully we all have personal friends whether they’re ministry related or not. If we don’t have those personal friendships, then we need to make some friends outside the church ASAP!
• Family. Perhaps of highest priority is the wife and then the children.
• Community. The impression you leave in the community is the impression they will develop about your church and its ministry.
• Christ. All of these relationships are encompassed by the most vital relationship of all — our personal relationship with Christ.

Navigating the church system requires that we keep the tensions in check and our relationships healthy.

Read the rest of this series:
Navigating the church system (1 of 5): Youth workers need help!
Navigating the church system (3 of 5): Why churches change slowly
Navigating the church system (4 of 5): Understanding the adoption curve
Navigating the church system (5 of 5): Common mistakes by youth pastors

———————————————————————————
The above material is based on Tiger McLuen’s seminar, “Surviving as a youth worker in an imperfect church.” Used and edited with permission. Thanks, Tiger!

Youth leaders need help! Most of us are just normal people who love kids and want to see lives changed for Christ, but that often means we have to get caught up in a church system that’s extremely political, confusing, demanding, stressful and sometimes even detrimental to the life-change we seek. When we, as youth workers, are fired, very rarely is it because we’re accused of being apathetic toward kids or mishandling the Word of God. Rather, it’s usually because of personal conflicts and ministry values that aren’t aligned with the church or the Sr. Pastor. We love kids, want to reach them for Christ and wish we didn’t have to deal with all the junk many churches throw at us. This week’s series won’t solve all our issues, but it will help us understand a little bit about how the church system works and how we can avoid the common pitfalls that short-circuit our dreams of life-long service in youth ministry.

Two views of youth ministry
Many youth workers have a speed bump approach to student ministry. We know we are called to youth ministry and we focus so intently on it that anything else along the way feels like a road bump. We hit the road bump and keep going except we’re a little more annoyed on the other side of the bump than we were before we hit it: committee meetings, board meetings, parents, paperwork, reports, etc.

Many churches have a light bulb approach to student ministry. To them, youth ministry is simply buying a light bulb from the youth ministry rack. The rack used to be empty, but now it’s filled with people from Bible colleges and seminaries. Every church wants a flood light youth minister, not a small 100 watt bulb. Eventually the bulb burns out, the church throws it away and buys another bulb until it also starts to flicker.

Youth workers need help:

• Our focus is on students, not church systems.
• We sometimes don’t stay focused on a task from start to finish.
• We often take on too much, making us look even more unorganized because we say YES to way too much.
• We are more people oriented than task oriented.
• We are cool, which is a problem for a lot of established churches. We are the edge. We’re the innovators. We prompt change and challenge the status quo.
• We often don’t follow through on menial tasks, such as cleaning the church van after a trip.
• We feel pressure from a variety of sources. There’s a lot of different expectations placed on us by a lot of different people and too often those expectations conflict! (“Get out of the office and hang with kids.” “Get in your office and return those phone calls.”)
• We often lack a clear vision. We tend to love kids and love Jesus and think that’s enough, but it’s not. Vagueness is killing the church: vague gospel, vague vision, vague direction, and we have no sense of when we get somewhere.)

Read the rest of the series:
Navigating the church system (2 of 5): Leadership tensions
Navigating the church system (3 of 5): Why churches change slowly
Navigating the church system (4 of 5): Understanding the adoption curve
Navigating the church system (5 of 5): Common mistakes by youth pastors

———————————————————————————
The above material is based on Tiger McLuen’s seminar, “Surviving as a youth worker in an imperfect church.” Used and edited with permission. Thanks, Tiger!

Every couple weeks I tend to get an email from a church asking me to recommended candidates for their youth ministry position. Although I have made recommendations in the past when I know of youth workers who are looking for a job, most of the time I my “youth pastor bank” is pretty dry. So, rather than trying to play matchmaker like some kind of eharmony for churches and youth workers, I may post some of those job opportunities here in case any of you guys looking. I probably won’t make a habit out of this, though, since there’s plenty of ways out there already for these kinds of connections to be made.

I’ve been in dialog over email with Prairie Lakes Church for a couple days now and from what I can tell, they seem like a solid church with a healthy perspective on ministry. Contact Terry directly if you’re interested.

DIRECTOR OF STUDENT MINISTRIES
Nestled in the heart of the Cedar Valley, Prairie Lakes Church is a growing, evangelical church with a mission to Point People to God. We are seeking a catalytic leader to develop and administer all facets of student ministries for grades 6-12, focusing primarily on small groups, Bible studies and discipleship. This position is responsible for planning, coordinating and overseeing activities for teens to promote fun, fellowship, spiritual development and ministry involvement.

Non-negotiables:

• Must be passionate about teenagers and totally sold out to the mission and vision of reaching teenagers for Christ.
• Must be a leader of leaders, willing and able to train and equip other adults.
• Must be convinced this is your life calling and vocation, not a stepping-stone to your real dream job.
• Must be technology-savvy.
• Must have keen insight into the youth culture and issues facing youth today.
• Must be creative and have excellent communication skills.
• Must have large church experience (1500+).
• Must be able to respond to this ad by Dec. 31, 2007.

This is an immediate, full-time position offering competitive salary and benefits. If you have been yearning for a healthy environment where you can play to your strengths, please submit your resume today, with cover letter including salary history.

Terry Kampman, HR Director
Prairie Lakes Church
1907 Viking Road
Cedar Falls, IA 50613

Phone: 319-266-2655
Email: terry.kampman@prairielakeschurch.org
Church site: www.prairielakeschurch.org
Youth group site: www.plcstudents.com

My church is going through the whole vision casting thing right now. Our current vision is pretty old and no longer reflects who we are. We’ve been hashing through a new vision every week in our staff meetings and it’s actually been a very stretching process. The vision has to be detailed enough to evaluate ministries and point our church in the right direction, but it has to be simple enough for everyone in the congregation to remember and articulate.

The hardest part is that vision must start with identity (who we are) and move to function (what we do). Usually churches put the cart before the horse and go straight to function (i.e. programs to accomplish such-and-such) without really thinking through who they are and why they do what they do. Identity is hard to grasp, but, in our opinion, it starts with Ephesians and then must move to, “What is our unique identity that makes us different from every other church out there?” Unfortunately, many church’s just find some other big church’s mission, vision, strategy, etc and adopt it for their own, thinking it will grow their numbers or make them like the other church, but nothing could be more crippling! We need to discover our own unique identity as a congregation in our specific town and context and then let our ministry flow out of who we are.

One of our associate pastors led the church staff through a discussion where we brainstormed “who we are” and “what we are becoming” based on key passages in Ephesians. He was gracious enough to provide me with those study notes to share with you all.

A book most of the pastors at my church have read is called, “Simple Church: Returning to God’s process for making disciples” by Thom S. Rainer and Eric Geiger. I haven’t read it yet, but they speak highly of it as we’re going through this process. I have the book here in front of me, I just need to sit down and read it sometime soon.

Bible study notes from Ephesians about our identity and our “becoming”

What advice do you have for this youth worker?

A reader sent me this to me and we dialogged about it over email a couple times, but they would love to have your input, as well. Post your advice in the comments and thanks for your help!
 

His story:
Thought I would say thanks for your ten commandments. I have been sending them to a [church leader] here that has been a real not so pleasant person. He is a great businessman but really has been giving people struggles when it comes to being a leader of faith. He tends to tear people down now so that he can get through what he wants to accomplish. I am not really sure how to read this individual because he an be your biggest pal one minute and then turn on you the next. I am tired of trying to play his game. Do you have any advice?

I’ve heard this comment several times from students: “Church just isn’t for me.” In my mind, my immediate response is, “You’re right! It’s not for you.” Church worship services are generally focused on the working middle-class adults, not students or children.

I’d really like to address this issue with my church’s leadership and I know they’ll be open to it, but their first question will be, “What do we need to do? Where do we start?” and I don’t really have an answer for that yet. It’s definitely has to be more than just inviting students to help lead worship or take the offering — it has to be a total reset of the whole approach and mentality of church. The mentality needs to be all-inclusive. The problem with that, though, is that the “target” becomes a wide range of people and instead of intentionally hitting the bull’s eye for one age group, now it’s a more buck-shot approach. We hit everyone a little, but no one enough to make an impact. However, if we’re really honest, we could probably stand to evaluate even our adult-oriented church services and ask, “Is this really making a spiritual impact on those who attend?” If the answer is anywhere between “no” and “kinda,” then the service needs to be overhauled anyway.

Is it even possible to create church services that are intergenerational and effective for every age group represented? I’m kinda thinking it’s not, at least not with our current approach to church.