I think the process of parents discipling their children starts when their kids are young. Forcing it to happen when kids are teenagers will be very difficult. Not impossible, just more difficult. That is why I love what we are doing with Family Point. We are encouraging parents to begin engaging with their kids now, with the hope that it will create a paradigm of discipleship for them to operate under.

In terms of encouraging parents with teens, I think the best thing we can do is resource and educate them in how to best relate to their kids. The article in the Parent Newsletter that I sent out today (http://campaign-archive.com/?u=5b931d57a3c2afbcf5ad2e051&id=c87bf3cc88&e=1b6509a638) gives some great tips on doing that.

What would a Family Point look like with middle school and high school students is great question. I think it could look fairly similar only geared to a more mature audience. One key component of the evening is the meal. So many families today don’t even eat together. If we can show them how good that is, we encourage them to do it more at home.

Another great idea for involving parents and students together is in mission. Anytime we can get people serving together, we hit a bulls eye, especially when it is students with their parents. In my experience nothing brings people closer in community than serving.

Thanks for the reply…

So what would family point look like for middle school and high school families?

To push a little bit…

It’s one thing to involve parents in ministry…as in getting them involved with helping out, fundraising, all the usual things…but how can we encourage them to intentionally disciple their kids at home?

Thanks for making your stuff available….

Right now we are offering a program to families with young children called Family Point (see: http://ipastor.blogspot.com/2008/10/family-point.html). It is what I believe to be a good foundation for fostering the kind of parent/child relationships that I wrote about. Relationships that will last well into the teen years.

Aside from Family Point I have led Parenting Workshops to help a parents understand their role and responsibility (see: http://ipastor.blogspot.com/2008/05/understanding-and-parenting-your-teen.html and http://ipastor.blogspot.com/2008/05/understanding-and-parenting-your-teen_14.html). I also send out a weekly Parent Newsletter designed to encourage and equip parents in their role. Here is what this week’s newsletter looked like: http://campaign-archive.com/?u=5b931d57a3c2afbcf5ad2e051&id=c87bf3cc88&e=1b6509a638 . Most of it’s contents are supplied by Youth Specialties.

I also have parents on my youth ministry team and am always quick to involve parents in other ways within our ministry.

I am complete agreement with you. Can you give any examples of how this is played out within youth ministry? I am working on changing out structure a bit but I’m not sure what this truly looks like…How far do you go?

It’s like banging your head against the wall at times trying to get students to grow in Christ without the parents growing in Christ…or even spending time with them.

Also I think it’s important in the discussion of distinguishing between “church kids” and non-church kids. I think the goal is the same (getting their parent to disciple them) but we have to go about in two complete different ways.

Thoughts?

On your other point, I completely agree. It is critical that we surround those students that do not have the support of their parents with other caring adults that care for and love them. This even goes beyond your regular youth staff. Look for adults within the church that are outside of your youth ministry, that can come along side students to pray for them, and spend time with them. The more adults involved in students lives the better, especially when there are uninvolved parents in the picture.

You couldn’t be more correct in your assessment. Parents have to be the primary spiritual leaders for their kids. And as you stated, God’s Word has commanded this to be true. One of my goals for 2009 is to increase parental involvement in our middle school ministry. I would be interested in hearing any ideas you have to help increase parental involvement.

On another note, it must be noted that we ministering to a generation whose parents spend less and less quality time with their children. And we must be there to support those teens whose parents are not involved in their lives spiritually. It would seem that youth ministry have been built around such a circumstance. I don’t think this is a bad thing in and of itself…but we must be able to do both. We must effectively minister to those teens who have no parents to instruct them in the Lord and to effectively involve parents to instruct their teens in the Lord.

I would love to have any of you check out my blog at youthrebellion.org. God Bless

Heather
I am wondering how you format the SOUL FUEL devotions. They look great though.

“In our programming let’s dream of ways we can come alongside parents and families to equip them and resource them in their God given task.”

What if we began to use a portion of those 40-50 hours a year to create a place where youth and their parents can study, laugh, play, and talk together? What if, even if just a few times a year, youth group was not just for youth, but their families as well?

I imagine those 2500 hours at home would begin to reflect those experiences.

It is just so unfortunate for those teenagers whose parents really don’t care about church at all.

Lots to think on- thanks!