Time Out (by Jerry Schmoyer)

The race of ministry

Two paddle boats, both powered by coal, left Memphis about the same time, traveling down the Mississippi River to New Orleans. As they traveled side-by-side, sailors from one vessel made some critical remarks and jokes about the snail’s pace of the other boat. Heated words were exchanged between the men on the two boats. Challenges were made. So the race began. The competition was hot and heavy as the two boats roared through the Deep South. Eventually, one boat began falling behind. The problem: it didn’t have enough fuel. There had been plenty of coal for the trip, but not enough for the race. As the boat dropped back, an enterprising young sailor took some of the ship’s cargo and tossed it into the boat’s ovens. When his fellow sailors saw that the supplies burned as well as coal, they fueled their boat with the material they had been assigned to transport. Guess what? They ended up winning the race, but they burned their cargo!

Sometimes the price of being the fastest is too high. Many people don’t realize that until they are on their death beds. Then it is too late. It’s not how fast we go through life that counts, but how we enjoy the trip along the way. We are stewards for God. That means we are captains of His ship, delivering His cargo for Him. He doesn’t reward us for speed but for faithfulness in the things He wants us to do.

Many of us in ministry today are guilty of trying to do too much in too little time. We keep expecting more and more of ourselves. Others seem to have unrealistic expectations of us as well. Thus we need to work faster, harder and longer to try to attain these unreachable goals. We want our ministries to be “successful” and therefore feel if we do more and more success will come. However all this usually causes is more and more stress.

Stress causes adrenaline to be dumped into the blood stream to prepare the body for a special challenge. If there is no special challenge to burn up the adrenaline it just hangs out there, causing us to run in overdrive. This uses physical, mental and spiritual energy and drains our system of reserves. Burnout soon results.

It’s not hard to tell if you are burn out. Is your enthusiasm and motivation low? Do you find yourself developing a negative attitude to people and events? Have you lost the joy and satisfaction you once found in ministry? Do you find you have a hard time focusing, concentrating and remembering things? Is it getting harder and harder to make simple decisions? Are you starting to avoid people and ministry opportunities? Do you have a hard time being patient with your mate and close friends? Do you feel exhausted but can’t seem to sleep well. Are you feeling bored, helpless and aimless? Then you’re probably burnt out.

The Solution

The only solution is to get your energy level back. Recharging your battery takes awhile. In fact, it takes longer to recharge it fully again than it did to discharge it in the first place. Seldom do we give ourselves enough time to recharge, so we find ourselves back in burn out again and again. We switch ministry positions or drop out entirely, but that isn’t the solution. That just deals with the symptom, not the problem.

The first step in the cure to stress-causing burnout isn’t found in changing circumstances but in changing how we respond to them. We must admit that our present patterns aren’t healthy and God-pleasing. We must recognize a problem with unrealistic expectations and a wrong response to stress. Anti-denial is the first step.

The second step, then, is to rest. Overworking ourselves, stressing ourselves out, often comes from insecurity. We feel we must perform in order for others to accept ourselves, or in order to accept ourselves. Thus we heap more and more stress upon ourselves. We strive to be more and more busy, to produce more, to be more effective. We try to reach the unrealistic expectations which we place on ourselves and which others place on us as well. But God calls us to rest (Heb 4:10; Isa 26:3; 30:15; Rom 8:6). Make sure you take a full 24-hour day totally off from responsibility and stress to just relax and recharge. At first it will be hard for all the extra adrenaline flowing in your body will demand you do something to burn it up. The problem is that working to burn it up just keeps causing our bodies to produce more and more. So go for a long walk or a run instead.

The third step, one that goes along with rest, is developing intimacy with God. That’s why we have been created. God didn’t make us to work for Him but to fellowship with Him. That’s what He needs and what we need. We also need to develop intimacy with those around us. Work often substitutes for intimacy. When we are so busy we don’t feel we have to genuinely relate to those closest to us. This is all wrong.

Thus true intimacy with God and others really meets our inner needs for acceptance and security. Overwork is a poor substitute for these and will never meet our inner needs. That’s why when we start down the path of doing more and more to win approval we never dome to an end of that path. It’s like drinking salt water to quench our thirst – it just can’t do the job!

Reflect

• How can you tell when you are burning out?
• What can you do to stop it?
• What can you do to prevent it?
• What stress most drives you to push too hard?
• What motivates you to keep pushing yourself more and more?
• What makes it hard for you to stop?

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Jerry Schmoyer has been a minister in Pennsylvania for over 25 years and has worked with teenagers for 15 years, ever since I became one myself. He authors the weekly Time Out series here at Life in Student Ministry in hopes to spiritually refresh your soul as you continually pour so much of yourself into students. God bless!

Time Out (by Jerry Schmoyer)

When is the last time you felt stressed out by your ministry? How many times a week does the stress get so high it impacts your moods and performance? It seems like stress goes with the territory, that it is an occupational hazard. But does it need to be that way?

Stress and stress-related diseases are in epidemic proportions today. Studies show that almost 70% of those who visit their doctor do so because of stress-related symptoms. The best-selling drugs in this country are all to help people handle stress. Stress is a growing problem among those in ministry, as well. We aren’t immune. In fact, we often suffer more from it than others in the general population.

Stress simply means we feel under pressure. Some times that pressure comes from within, what we demand of ourselves. Other times it comes from without, what we feel (real or imagined) that others look for us to produce. We are to follow Jesus and live as He lived.

Some stress is inevitable. Not all stress is bad. It can serve to motivate us in times of special need. Good stress brings out the best in us. Bad stress actually makes us less productive. Good stress we control, bad stress controls us and we can’t stop. We become driven. Impatience and anger become our daily companions. Peace and joy flee. Little things become big things and big things fade to lesser priorities. Our work list takes priority over our relationships.

Symptoms of stress include always being in a hurry, not having patience for others, trying to make every moment count (often by doing two or more things at the same time), inability to relax and enjoy, becoming irritated by things that don’t go right and sensing a loss of intimacy in your relationships, including your relationship with God.

When you recognize a symptom, see it as a warning light on the dashboard of your life. It means your battery is being drained too quickly and is getting dangerously low. It calls you back to the throne for “repairs.” Where are you failing to listen or obey or trust?

How can we overcome stress? Know your Plimsoll mark and honor it. Ships once were required to have a line painted on the hull that would remain above water only if the vessel were not overloaded. Most people know where their line is, but neglect its warnings. Don’t drown yourself into obligations or take on more than you can handle. You’ll sink. Jesus knew how to say no to things, we need to learn that as well. Strive for balance. In Eccl. 3:1-8, Solomon lists things that all have a place in every life. A good life has enough time for every worthwhile activity under heaven, including leisure. Regularly do something that is nonproductive and “fun.”

Pursue peace. It’s not a by-product of wealth or good health; it’s an end in itself. You can find peace in any circumstances, even when it makes no earthly sense to have it. Peace brings contentment and long life (Phil. 4:11, Ps. 34:12). God gives peace to those who ask Him for it and then are willing to make the necessary changes in their life so they can recognize and enjoy it.

Learn to enjoy. Many successful people feel a sense of accomplishment, but no enjoyment of their work or talents. The ability to enjoy yourself is a gift from God (Eccl. 5:19). He has given us all things to enjoy freely (1 Tim. 6:17). Ask Him to help you stop striving and accept His blessing.

Perhaps expecting to have a totally stress-free life and ministry isn’t a realistic expectation, but certainly for all of us there is plenty of room for improvement. Jesus certainly experienced stress, but it wasn’t from overwork or too high expectations. He didn’t start more than He could finish, He knew how to say “no” and He certainly paced Himself. You can, too.

Reflect

• When do you experience the most stress in your week?
• If Jesus were in your place, what would He do to prevent or remove the stress?
• What can you do this week to cut back on stress in your life? (If you can’t change the circumstances, you can change your reaction to them.)

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Jerry Schmoyer has been a minister in Pennsylvania for over 25 years and has worked with teenagers for 15 years, ever since I became one myself. He authors the weekly Time Out series here at Life in Student Ministry in hopes to spiritually refresh your soul as you continually pour so much of yourself into students. God bless!

A year and a half ago I took an inventory of my life and wrote a list of how I will crash and burn(out) in ministry. Since then, I frequently receive emails from youth workers who feel maxed out, tired and drained. Here are some common recommendations I make on how to reduce stress in ministry.

11. Take regular breaks.
Ministry workers are usually workaholics. There are appropriate times when you need to settle down and crunch through some work, but when it’s done, leave your workplace a couple minutes. Go outside, walk around, and get some sun. You’ll be amazed how refreshed you feel coming back. A 10-15 minute break outside can really energize you to finish the rest of your work in much better time and in higher quality, too.

10. Work when you focus best.
It seems like most people I know in ministry are early-morning people. They love waking up before the sun and hitting the office early. If that’s what works best for you, then do it! However, some people, like me, think mornings are a result of the fall in Genesis 3 and can’t function until lunch time. I honestly work best between 10:00 PM and 2:00 AM. I stay focused and tend to crank out my best work during that time. Find out what works best for you and capitalize on it.

9. Address the work at home.
Stacks of bills, car maintenance, yard work, and home repairs can really stress you out, especially if it seems like everything else going on in life is always a higher priority. If tasks start piling up at home, take an extra day off to get it all done and set your mind free.

8. Eat healthy.
Give your body food that will keep it well nourished. Balance your carbs, fruits, vegetables, and grains. Junk food will drain your system, making you tired and unfocused. A sugar rush may give you small bursts of energy, but the crash at the end will keep you going back for more sugar all day long.

7. Stay in shape.
It’s clinically proven that regular exercise reduces stress, gives you more energy, improves your sleep at night, and helps you stay more alert during the day. There’s really no excuse not to stay in shape, especially for people in ministry. And if you have tight muscles and achy joints, see a massage therapist or a chiropractor.

6. Use your vacation days.
Many of us may be happy with our jobs, our ministries, and the work we do, but there are always small things about each job that we hate. That’s just a part of life. Over time, those annoyances can build until they become frustrating. Make sure you take a break, time to rest, time to get away, and leave it all behind. If your ministry can’t function without you for a couple days to a week on a regular basis, the ministry is way too focused on you and is unhealthy.

5. Keep ministry simple.
Lots of activity and responsibilities may make you feel more important than you really are, but it’s a guaranteed formula for stress and burnout. Know your limits and be realistic. If you have too much on your plate, delegate some of it to others or simply cut it out of your life. In my ministry, if no one steps up to help or take over something I don’t have time to do or shouldn’t be a priority for my limited time, it simply doesn’t get done. It’s really that easy.

4. Listen to worship music.
I don’t mean just have it playing in the background, although that might help. Sit down and really listen to it. Let the Holy Spirit work in your life as you spend personal time in worship, thinking, reflecting, and meditating on Him. All the other stressful things in your life pale in comparison to a healthy reminder of who God is.

3. Say “No!”
I don’t know why ministry workers feel like they have to say yes to so many things. Maintain boundaries on your life! I’m a youth pastor and I only go to about half of our weekly youth meetings. I work hard to recruit and train solid volunteers that work great whether I’m there or not. If the ministry is focused around you, you’re doing something wrong. You shouldn’t be out more than 3 nights a week maximum! Be at home with your family.

2. Maintain healthy relationships with your spouse.
Remember, your primary ministry is to your family, especially your spouse. Don’t wait until the relationship starts feeling dry to do something about it. Maintain the relationship so you never get to that point in the first place. Spend alone time together, go on dates, read the Word together, do random romantic acts, be sexually active.

1. Focus on the Lord.
Regular time with the Lord is critical, but it often seems like it’s the first thing we set aside. Spend time with God on a personal level and also make it a priority for your family. You can’t serve the Lord and follow Him without knowing where He’s leading you. Otherwise, you fall into a stale rut of just “doing” ministry, rather than leading a movement of God’s people.

What other tips do you have to reducing stress in ministry? What do you do to recharge and stay focused?

I’m going to be honest: every item I list here is based on tendencies I’ve noticed in myself over the past several months. If you’re a regular reader of my blog, maybe you’ve even noticed some of them pop up in my previous writings. When I take a step back and write about it, it’s so easy to see how foolish I am. Burning out in ministry is not a sudden event in time that will take me by surprise, like a bursting firecracker on the 4th of July. Instead, it’s a slow process over time, like holding a burning match. If I’m not careful these things will eventually creep up on me, burn me, and render my leadership useless.

I doubt I’m alone in this. Here’s how you and I will crash and burn-out in ministry:

1. Ignore spending time in the Word and in prayer. Ministry is easy — you can do it all in your own strength. It shouldn’t be based on God anyway. Spend all your time teaching others how to develop their relationship with God instead.

2. Accept responsibility for everything. Say “yes” to whatever is asked of you and your time. It doesn’t matter if it could easily be handled by a volunteer, take it on anyway because you’re the guy they pay to do it. Besides, there may be no one else willing or available to do it besides you, which obviously indicates how important it is to everyone else.

3. Become emotionally attached to every situation. Whenever someone has a need, be the first to jump in, provide all the emotional support they need and rescue them from the problem. After all, everyone needs a savior.

4. Always serve God in ministry. This is so important that you must sacrifice all personal down-time and fill it with good things like meetings, events, Bible studies, evangelism, mission trips, prayer groups, small groups, and knitting groups.

5. Attempt to control everything. Control all the planning, the results, the future, the people, the workplace, the weather and God. You are the sustainer of the ministry on whom it is all built. If you take your eyes off of any of anything it will collapse and fail miserably.

6. Base your self-worth on the “success” of your ministry. You’re investing your life into this ministry thing! How it grows and flourishes indicates how important you are and how pleased God is with your labor. If your ministry is struggling, there must be something wrong with you.

7. Feed spiritual consumerism. So-and-so left the church and is attending the “mega-church” down the street because they have a better youth ministry. Now you need to quickly compete by offering the same programs but better. Otherwise, the entire congregation will migrate and leave you out of a job.

8. Focus your ministry on programs. This may come as a result of #7. Remember that vision and relationships are secondary to programming. Look at Jesus for example: His ministry was all about getting things done, not about growing disciples through relationships or communicating His vision for the world.

9. Dwell on all the problems. So it turns out that your ministry is the only one in the world that isn’t perfect. Let it consume your thoughts, your heart and your emotions. It’s important to focus on internal problems so there’s no time left to reach the lost souls that are dying all around.

10. Avoid transparency at all costs. Vulnerability brings the potential for rejection, criticism, and people losing respect for you. As a church leader, everyone must think you’re perfect, strong and invincible. Otherwise, the perfect people in your church will have no reason to follow you.

11. Focus only on what’s in front of you. Dreaming a huge vision for the future only makes people feel uncomfortable, probably because of item #5. Passion can become contagious and take the ministry in scary and risky directions, so it’s best to avoid these dreams altogether. It’s always safer to wander aimlessly by staring at your feet than it is to walk toward God’s beautiful horizon and risk tripping.

Well, it’s official now — I’m stressed. The cold sores are starting to appear in my mouth and I’m always pretty tired. Of course, that could be due to the fact that I temporarily escape into Guild Wars until later than usual, too. This whole week has just been very hard and painful. I find that it’s a struggle to remain focused on whatever task is before me and sometimes find myself sitting alone doing nothing but thinking and praying. The only thing that could probably hurt worse than this is if my little brother and sister were killed by someone. Granted, there have been moments of relief and I can say that the week has consistantly become better than when it started, but it’s still very hard. Only God knows how all this will play out, so I keep going back to James 1 knowing that God uses pain to grow us, mature us, and refine us into who we need to be. The process feels like it’s stabbing me to death, but I know somehow the end result will be for His glory.