Comments on: Two approaches to youth ministry http://www.studentministry.org/two-approaches-to-youth-ministry/ Conversations among those passionate for teenagers. Fri, 30 Jul 2010 03:01:44 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 By: Heidi http://www.studentministry.org/two-approaches-to-youth-ministry/comment-page-1/#comment-83735 Heidi Wed, 14 May 2008 02:58:46 +0000 http://www.studentministry.org/2007/06/25/two-approaches-to-youth-ministry/#comment-83735 My husband is on a church plant team with 4 other men. I was a paid youth worker for 10 years at 2 different churches and a volunteer for 8 years. I quit last year bacasue I have 4 kids and it is too much to balance. We are really struggleing through this issue as we seek to start a new church. It is clear in the Bible that Fathers are to diciple thier children. It seems that American youth minsitry is a dismal failure because we have left the Biblical mandate. The question maybe becomes when is a teen no longer a child? John the disicple was pretty young, as were most the other diciples. I think there is a huge move in thinking partterns between 16 and 18. It seems that the younger youth maybe even through 10th grade should be kept much closer to their parents, then around 16 parents should take on more of a mentor role. But the role of the church should be helping all people, and in this case parents of teens and the teens themself, to follow the Bible. Our culture celebrates indepence to a fault so we have a bunch of kids that are young indepentant fools leading they way and disregarding the wisdom of their parents and other authorities. I don't know how to fix the youth ministry crisis, but it seems that we should just follow the Bible and see where that leads us. We have tried the current model for years and I think it is time to upgrade. Just my thoughts. My husband is on a church plant team with 4 other men.

I was a paid youth worker for 10 years at 2 different churches and a volunteer for 8 years. I quit last year bacasue I have 4 kids and it is too much to balance.

We are really struggleing through this issue as we seek to start a new church. It is clear in the Bible that Fathers are to diciple thier children. It seems that American youth minsitry is a dismal failure because we have left the Biblical mandate.

The question maybe becomes when is a teen no longer a child? John the disicple was pretty young, as were most the other diciples. I think there is a huge move in thinking partterns between 16 and 18. It seems that the younger youth maybe even through 10th grade should be kept much closer to their parents, then around 16 parents should take on more of a mentor role. But the role of the church should be helping all people, and in this case parents of teens and the teens themself, to follow the Bible.

Our culture celebrates indepence to a fault so we have a bunch of kids that are young indepentant fools leading they way and disregarding the wisdom of their parents and other authorities.

I don’t know how to fix the youth ministry crisis, but it seems that we should just follow the Bible and see where that leads us. We have tried the current model for years and I think it is time to upgrade.

Just my thoughts.

]]> By: vivonjlinks: Two approaches to youth ministry » Life in Student Ministry http://www.studentministry.org/two-approaches-to-youth-ministry/comment-page-1/#comment-19724 vivonjlinks: Two approaches to youth ministry » Life in Student Ministry Sat, 11 Aug 2007 14:58:14 +0000 http://www.studentministry.org/2007/06/25/two-approaches-to-youth-ministry/#comment-19724 <!--%kramer-ref-pre%-->[...] Two approaches to youth ministry » Life in Student Ministry [...]<!--%kramer-ref-post%--> Kramer auto Pingback[...] Two approaches to youth ministry » Life in Student Ministry [...]

]]> By: John Mulholland http://www.studentministry.org/two-approaches-to-youth-ministry/comment-page-1/#comment-10631 John Mulholland Sat, 30 Jun 2007 01:18:06 +0000 http://www.studentministry.org/2007/06/25/two-approaches-to-youth-ministry/#comment-10631 I'm making the transition to a parent based ministry and it is working well. I say "well" because I've never done it before and am as happy as a pig in crap that I meet weekly with parents for a study. Currently, we're reading "Family-Based youth Ministry" by Mark DeVries. Starting in September, we'll be doing the "Experiencing God" Bible study. I’m making the transition to a parent based ministry and it is working well. I say “well” because I’ve never done it before and am as happy as a pig in crap that I meet weekly with parents for a study. Currently, we’re reading “Family-Based youth Ministry” by Mark DeVries. Starting in September, we’ll be doing the “Experiencing God” Bible study.

]]> By: Nick http://www.studentministry.org/two-approaches-to-youth-ministry/comment-page-1/#comment-10023 Nick Tue, 26 Jun 2007 13:46:34 +0000 http://www.studentministry.org/2007/06/25/two-approaches-to-youth-ministry/#comment-10023 I too have been struggling especially this past week with this topic. My first youth ministry I ever had, there was pretty much zero parent participation. Now with the ministry I am at now, it total opposite. There is so much participation. I like the comments by Robert who said that we need to get the family more involved in the church. I agree with that, but too me, and this is just my opinion, in the youth group can be too much. Now, the Youth Pastor's role is to assist the parents in teaching their children, and that is where trust comes from the parent with the youth pastor. I consistently email parent letters, meetings such with our parents. I keep them up to date and they keep me up to date. But with things that have happened in the past few weeks for me, it reminded me that there can be too much involvement with parents in youth ministry. There are times for them to be involved and times where it should be a little more low key. For instance: We have a group of teens that love to be together (which is unusual sometimes) and we take every opportunity to be together, but the parents have that mindset too with the other parents. But why does it need to be at a youth function. Know what I mean. Anyways, I agree with the Deut. 6 approach too, but someone in these comments said there needs to be balance. That is what it is all about. I too have been struggling especially this past week with this topic. My first youth ministry I ever had, there was pretty much zero parent participation. Now with the ministry I am at now, it total opposite. There is so much participation. I like the comments by Robert who said that we need to get the family more involved in the church. I agree with that, but too me, and this is just my opinion, in the youth group can be too much. Now, the Youth Pastor’s role is to assist the parents in teaching their children, and that is where trust comes from the parent with the youth pastor. I consistently email parent letters, meetings such with our parents. I keep them up to date and they keep me up to date. But with things that have happened in the past few weeks for me, it reminded me that there can be too much involvement with parents in youth ministry. There are times for them to be involved and times where it should be a little more low key. For instance: We have a group of teens that love to be together (which is unusual sometimes) and we take every opportunity to be together, but the parents have that mindset too with the other parents. But why does it need to be at a youth function. Know what I mean. Anyways, I agree with the Deut. 6 approach too, but someone in these comments said there needs to be balance. That is what it is all about.

]]> By: Laura http://www.studentministry.org/two-approaches-to-youth-ministry/comment-page-1/#comment-9927 Laura Mon, 25 Jun 2007 23:55:36 +0000 http://www.studentministry.org/2007/06/25/two-approaches-to-youth-ministry/#comment-9927 [Disclaimer: I am not involved in youth ministry, I have no kids, but I am opinionated and have actually studied the transition to adult faith. Sorry if this is a bit preachy and a bit of a tangent...I've just seen too many post-HS drifters.] For the transition to adult faith and continued involvement in church once they reach adulthood, "keeps the youth integrated with the rest of the body on the whole" is probably the most important concept. When "youth ministry" becomes another congregation, those graduating from the ministry have no where to go in the larger church body. There is a tendency for these graduates to either leave the church (or this particular church) or to be drawn back into the ministry as "leaders." Either scenario is a shame. When kids and youth know, love, and are involved with the various generations in a local church, there is no need for "assimilation" after graduation. I've no answers, but after seven years in college ministry, I will say this: connect kids and youth to the larger body. You'll not regret it. [Disclaimer: I am not involved in youth ministry, I have no kids, but I am opinionated and have actually studied the transition to adult faith. Sorry if this is a bit preachy and a bit of a tangent...I've just seen too many post-HS drifters.]

For the transition to adult faith and continued involvement in church once they reach adulthood, “keeps the youth integrated with the rest of the body on the whole” is probably the most important concept. When “youth ministry” becomes another congregation, those graduating from the ministry have no where to go in the larger church body. There is a tendency for these graduates to either leave the church (or this particular church) or to be drawn back into the ministry as “leaders.” Either scenario is a shame. When kids and youth know, love, and are involved with the various generations in a local church, there is no need for “assimilation” after graduation.

I’ve no answers, but after seven years in college ministry, I will say this: connect kids and youth to the larger body. You’ll not regret it.

]]> By: Kevin Twombly http://www.studentministry.org/two-approaches-to-youth-ministry/comment-page-1/#comment-9923 Kevin Twombly Mon, 25 Jun 2007 23:02:39 +0000 http://www.studentministry.org/2007/06/25/two-approaches-to-youth-ministry/#comment-9923 Hey Tim, Great post, gets the mind thinking more. We have been trying more and more over the past few years to get parents more involved in the student ministry at our church. We look at this ministry as more of a family ministry than that of a youth ministry. While we have seperate gatherings for youth that would seem to fall more into the "traditional" model, we are always on the lookout for how we can partner with the parents in helping them disciple their own kids. One practical way to involve parents is to recruit them for serving in the student ministry. Parents, in my mind, are the best resource that we have. They have a vested interest in seeing their kids grow in a deeper relationship with the Lord. I will admit, there are plenty of parents that just want to take the drop and run approach, but we have been purposeful in our reaching out to parents. I will literally go out into the parking lot and meet them at their car. Many parents, I have found, avoid entering the realm of "youthdom" in a midweek gathering because they only hear complaints about how their kid was disruptive, disrespectful, etc. We try and find opportunities to celebrate the victories of the youth with the parents. When they hear that their son/daughter took a step in being transparent during discussion, helped a new kid connect, took out the trash (that one always blows them away) they start to get more curious about what goes on inside. We advertise an "open door policy" for parents. We want them to be present. We record our messages each week and make a podcast available for parents to hear as well. This becomes a resource for parents to engage with the kids at home and continue the dialogue from our small groups. These are just a few ideas, we are always looking for more ways to creatively make parents feel welcome. Hey Tim,

Great post, gets the mind thinking more. We have been trying more and more over the past few years to get parents more involved in the student ministry at our church. We look at this ministry as more of a family ministry than that of a youth ministry. While we have seperate gatherings for youth that would seem to fall more into the “traditional” model, we are always on the lookout for how we can partner with the parents in helping them disciple their own kids.
One practical way to involve parents is to recruit them for serving in the student ministry. Parents, in my mind, are the best resource that we have. They have a vested interest in seeing their kids grow in a deeper relationship with the Lord.
I will admit, there are plenty of parents that just want to take the drop and run approach, but we have been purposeful in our reaching out to parents. I will literally go out into the parking lot and meet them at their car.
Many parents, I have found, avoid entering the realm of “youthdom” in a midweek gathering because they only hear complaints about how their kid was disruptive, disrespectful, etc. We try and find opportunities to celebrate the victories of the youth with the parents. When they hear that their son/daughter took a step in being transparent during discussion, helped a new kid connect, took out the trash (that one always blows them away) they start to get more curious about what goes on inside.
We advertise an “open door policy” for parents. We want them to be present. We record our messages each week and make a podcast available for parents to hear as well. This becomes a resource for parents to engage with the kids at home and continue the dialogue from our small groups.

These are just a few ideas, we are always looking for more ways to creatively make parents feel welcome.

]]> By: Paul http://www.studentministry.org/two-approaches-to-youth-ministry/comment-page-1/#comment-9878 Paul Mon, 25 Jun 2007 16:17:00 +0000 http://www.studentministry.org/2007/06/25/two-approaches-to-youth-ministry/#comment-9878 People actually get parents to come to a youth ministry function? How do they do that? Most of the parent involvement I see is either co-dependent or drop and run. Mike Devries wrote a great book about it, but I have yet to see anyone actually have a ministry of both parents and youth. Anyone out there ever tried this? Had any success? People actually get parents to come to a youth ministry function? How do they do that? Most of the parent involvement I see is either co-dependent or drop and run. Mike Devries wrote a great book about it, but I have yet to see anyone actually have a ministry of both parents and youth.

Anyone out there ever tried this? Had any success?

]]> By: Robert http://www.studentministry.org/two-approaches-to-youth-ministry/comment-page-1/#comment-9875 Robert Mon, 25 Jun 2007 14:59:53 +0000 http://www.studentministry.org/2007/06/25/two-approaches-to-youth-ministry/#comment-9875 Tim I believe that Deuteronomy 6 is much more than just an approach or latest method. It is the ideal. It is the way things should be. God was clear... if you want to continue then here are some things you MUST do. The fact is today's parent/youth ministry is awkward because we have strayed away from the original design. That does not make the original design bad or evil, it makes it all the more clear. Just like divorce which is ugly and awkward and evil for a reason… because it is not the original design. Every argument I hear about this topic these days goes something like this… “How do we get parents involved in Youth ministry?” That’s the wrong approach in my opinion. Since when is the ‘Youth Ministry’ the thing we need to get parents involved in? How about getting the family as a whole involved in the church. Parent’s don’t like the idea of getting involved in the Youth ministry because they don’t need 50 teenagers as best friends. However offer them tools and encouragement in navigating the waters of raising an adolescent and they will come around. Show a family how to minister as group and you’ll stain them for life. About those students who (i) have no parents, or (ii) have no parents capable of leading them… that is a whole new set of problems. That is where the church must step in with intentional adult relationships (usually 3-5 adults per kid) that are designed to help that student along. This scenario is always sticky, awkward, and ugly at times. And rightly so… it was not designed to be that way. Man, I’m glad I’m not the only one struggling with this! Tim I believe that Deuteronomy 6 is much more than just an approach or latest method. It is the ideal. It is the way things should be. God was clear… if you want to continue then here are some things you MUST do. The fact is today’s parent/youth ministry is awkward because we have strayed away from the original design. That does not make the original design bad or evil, it makes it all the more clear. Just like divorce which is ugly and awkward and evil for a reason… because it is not the original design.

Every argument I hear about this topic these days goes something like this… “How do we get parents involved in Youth ministry?” That’s the wrong approach in my opinion. Since when is the ‘Youth Ministry’ the thing we need to get parents involved in? How about getting the family as a whole involved in the church. Parent’s don’t like the idea of getting involved in the Youth ministry because they don’t need 50 teenagers as best friends. However offer them tools and encouragement in navigating the waters of raising an adolescent and they will come around. Show a family how to minister as group and you’ll stain them for life.

About those students who (i) have no parents, or (ii) have no parents capable of leading them… that is a whole new set of problems. That is where the church must step in with intentional adult relationships (usually 3-5 adults per kid) that are designed to help that student along. This scenario is always sticky, awkward, and ugly at times. And rightly so… it was not designed to be that way.

Man, I’m glad I’m not the only one struggling with this!

]]> By: Mike Lehew http://www.studentministry.org/two-approaches-to-youth-ministry/comment-page-1/#comment-9873 Mike Lehew Mon, 25 Jun 2007 14:49:40 +0000 http://www.studentministry.org/2007/06/25/two-approaches-to-youth-ministry/#comment-9873 Balance is key when it comes to partnering with parents. The great thing about student ministry is students hopefully figuring it(their faith) out by working it out in their hearts and minds. There needs to be some space for the students to make their faith their own and this is where student ministry is a positive influence. I too agree with the Deuteronomy approach and I wrestle with what every youth pastor struggles with in this area--getting parents to take a more hands on role in discipling their kids. We are about to start parents of teenagers small groups and go through the material "Rite of Passage" Parenting by Walker Moore(excellent resource). I am going to lead one of these groups, so that I can get into the world and into the mind of the parent and see how to effectively come alongside them. Balance is key when it comes to partnering with parents. The great thing about student ministry is students hopefully figuring it(their faith) out by working it out in their hearts and minds. There needs to be some space for the students to make their faith their own and this is where student ministry is a positive influence.
I too agree with the Deuteronomy approach and I wrestle with what every youth pastor struggles with in this area–getting parents to take a more hands on role in discipling their kids.
We are about to start parents of teenagers small groups and go through the material “Rite of Passage” Parenting by Walker Moore(excellent resource). I am going to lead one of these groups, so that I can get into the world and into the mind of the parent and see how to effectively come alongside them.

]]> By: Dave Miers http://www.studentministry.org/two-approaches-to-youth-ministry/comment-page-1/#comment-9872 Dave Miers Mon, 25 Jun 2007 14:32:23 +0000 http://www.studentministry.org/2007/06/25/two-approaches-to-youth-ministry/#comment-9872 i've often wondered how parent style youth ministry looks after students whose parents aren't Christian. i don't think it's an either or by all means have a youth ministry for youth - but think through how to partner with Christian parents in a genuine way. i'm keen to think through how i can get more of our core parents to see the great opportunities to reach out to non-Christian parents. peaceout i’ve often wondered how parent style youth ministry looks after students whose parents aren’t Christian.

i don’t think it’s an either or

by all means have a youth ministry for youth – but think through how to partner with Christian parents in a genuine way. i’m keen to think through how i can get more of our core parents to see the great opportunities to reach out to non-Christian parents.

peaceout

]]> By: Ryan http://www.studentministry.org/two-approaches-to-youth-ministry/comment-page-1/#comment-9871 Ryan Mon, 25 Jun 2007 14:14:01 +0000 http://www.studentministry.org/2007/06/25/two-approaches-to-youth-ministry/#comment-9871 Tim, I have to admit this is a topic that has been on my mind for some time, and while there is no easy answer to the question of what approach may be best I believe it is worth exploring the upsides and downsides to each approach. I have really struggled with the lack of parent involvement in my youth ministry and I believe there are many youth ministries in the same boat. However, I believe you are right in being leary of too much involvement in the youth ministry. My thought is, what would it hurt to get parents involved in a bible study or Sunday morning activity once or twice a month. I know that some students don't have parents who attend church, but maybe relationships will be fostered between another students parents and a "parentless" child that will only encourage and foster spiritual growth in that student, while also giving a parental presence to the ministry. I don't know, these are just some of my thoughts. I never usually comment on people's blogs, but this topic just got the wheels turning... Peace! Tim,

I have to admit this is a topic that has been on my mind for some time, and while there is no easy answer to the question of what approach may be best I believe it is worth exploring the upsides and downsides to each approach. I have really struggled with the lack of parent involvement in my youth ministry and I believe there are many youth ministries in the same boat. However, I believe you are right in being leary of too much involvement in the youth ministry. My thought is, what would it hurt to get parents involved in a bible study or Sunday morning activity once or twice a month. I know that some students don’t have parents who attend church, but maybe relationships will be fostered between another students parents and a “parentless” child that will only encourage and foster spiritual growth in that student, while also giving a parental presence to the ministry. I don’t know, these are just some of my thoughts. I never usually comment on people’s blogs, but this topic just got the wheels turning…

Peace!

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