Comments on: What parents’ actions often teach kids about God

By: Tim Schmoyer

Tim Schmoyer — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 02:11:13 +0000

Sorry to hear she's putting church attendance before you and your marriage. Sounds like she may be going to church for the wrong reasons, which is unfortunate, as well. Prayin' for you guys tonight!

By: Mike

Mike — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 00:40:00 +0000

As a father I have the challenge that my wife thinks church is highest priority above family and marriage. Over the next 11 days for example, she will be taking our 8 year old to church on five different days. Twice also to sunday school and the rest to sit with her in the pews listening to the pastor. In my view that is unbalanced, and no matter what I say or do- she is driven to take him with her to fulfill her own needs. For his part, he enjoys going if he gets to play outside on the playset afterwards, but otherwise thinks it's "boring." In my view, the surest way to sour him on church and God is to get too much of a good thing at his young age. The worst part is she won't listen or compromise in any manner- to the point where our marriage has reached a tipping point. I wish it was a simple as missing church on Sundays…

By: MentalRover

MentalRover — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 05:36:05 +0000

Hi Tim, thanks for your VERY quick response!

I think I did not misunderstand your post, but I view at the same topic from a somewhat orthogonal perspective. I am not speaking about the priority which God shall have in live per se, and that parents have to communicate them to their children.

I only question if it is correct to come up with the “typical” answers which link priority of faith and sunday morning service with one another, where the first is necessary the latter only a traditional agreement.

I see your whole point, I see the problem too. I only do not like the easy and typical answers. That may be my own problem, that I got “the traditional answers” often too quick. And in my experience this is also one fact why teens abandon church: The adults there are not willing to requestion some traditions to transport faith into the current culture.
Once again: that may be MY problem here.

> When sports and other activities start becoming a higher priority than
> that, then I think we have problems.

I totally agree! But often people prematurely stop asking what exactly the problem is! My point here is: Sometimes church traditions tend to create a dilemma which must not exist.

Church and sports a.s.o. is not only a problem of OUR teens but of the teens we try to reach outside with Jesus’ words. And if the first thing is: Go to church and not to sport as they conflict! That’s not good – and we have a problem.

Thanks for listening!

By: Tim Schmoyer

Tim Schmoyer — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 05:21:02 +0000

@MetalRover: I think you misunderstood this post. I agree wholeheartedly with what you’re saying. The danger I’m referring to is two-fold:

1. When a teen (or anyone!) puts anything before God in their life. The Bible clearly calls this idolatry. In this post I’m saying we need to be careful about what messages we unintentionally send to our teens by how we help them think through their priorities.

2. When a teen starts neglecting his/her active participation in a community of believers. Hebrews 10:25 and other passages clearly command this and urge it as utmost importance.

I’m not making an argument that kids need to be in church every Sunday as much as I’m saying it’s important that they’re connected to a body of believers and actively serving in that body of Christ as scripture commands. When sports and other activities start becoming a higher priority than that, then I think we have problems.

By: MentalRover

MentalRover — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 05:12:08 +0000

Hi,
a very sensible topic, so I cannot take everything of what you’ve said without differenciating it.

First about the experience of “God comes first” and sunday mornings: I know of a family, where the children indeed made the experience, that for their parents “God comes first”, which was not a good one … they abandoned faith exactly because of THAT. God comes first, so community comes first … in the result: family and the personal interest of their children came last.

Second: Yes, we (in Germany) make the experience too, that football matches take place on sunday morning. But this was always the case. One of my son now has only one interest: football. He wants to become a professional. So he has to obey the rules of this sports and play on sunday morning, like so many of his friends, which I would also like to see in church (or more correct: see in contact with Jesus, which is not exactly the same!).

Making the decision between church and life a dilemma for him is in my opinion absolutely the wrong way to teach him about God. Its teaching about us christians and our traditional structure. Nothing more.
So the church people must ask themselves if it is really adequate to keep a tradition only to keep a tradition although it is not fitting into the life of the people they want to reach. I can’t find in the bible a schedule saying that services have to take place on sunday morning at 10:00 am.

What I try to teach my son: That God is with him and that he can trust in him and pray to him AT ANY TIME and WHEREVER HE IS. And that may be on sunday morning on the football ground. BTW: To my experience the situations where the best talks about faith took place were NOT at sunday morning in church, where one or two strangers found their way in by chance, but at places where those people we try to reach meet themselves anyway.

That’s what I teach my son: Talk about your faith in your football club.
And not: Let them alone and keep separated if they don’t follow your church’s traditional schedule.

By: The Home of Community Christian Assembly of God - Two Articles every Christian parent should read!

Tue, 19 Feb 2008 19:11:32 +0000

[...] Article #1: Why church is often a student’s last priority | Life in Student MinistryArticle #2: What parents’ actions often teach kids about God | Life in Student Ministry [...]

By: A plan for helping parents reach their teenagers | Life in Student Ministry

Wed, 13 Feb 2008 05:44:08 +0000

[...] seminary for one of my Family Life classes. It makes a great follow-up from my post last week about what parents actions often teach kids about God. Kind of ironic that I do some of this in my ministry already, but never defined it as well as I [...]

By: Luke

Luke — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 23:39:56 +0000

Great post, Tim! At RVC, we’re trying to look at how we can minister to the entire family, instead of just middle school or high school. How can we better empower parents to lead their family spiritually?

By: gavin

gavin — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 21:06:58 +0000

ouch! it hits home quite a bit my friend.

By: Tim Schmoyer

Tim Schmoyer — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 17:42:49 +0000

Thanks for that link, Larry! I didn’t know it was available online.

By: Larry

Larry — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 17:38:17 +0000

Thanks for addressing what might be viewed as a sensitive sujbect. Dr. Voddie Baucham Jr’s message, “The Centrality of the Home,” is a definite compliment to your post . . . http://www.voddiebaucham.org/vbm/Podcast/Entries/2007/1/17_The_Centrality_of_the_Home.html

By: parents are still the #1 influence « Ramblings On. . .

parents are still the #1 influence « Ramblings On. . . — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 16:35:31 +0000

[...] parents are still the #1 influence Jump to Comments Great article from Tim at life in student ministryread it here. [...]

By: Down In My Little Valley

Down In My Little Valley — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Oh, and my adopted son put up a very timely and thoughtful post here that I agree with one-hundred percent. Two other blog posts that I found very interesting, concerning ministering to today’s youth, can be foundhereand here. Even though we are no longer youth leaders, I still read as much as I can about ministering to youth. I love young people and want so much to see them succeed in living for the Lord and finding salvation in Him if they do not know Him.

By: Ramblings On. . .

Ramblings On. . . — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Great article from Tim at life in student ministryread it here.

By: Hit the Back Button to Move Fwd

Hit the Back Button to Move Fwd — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

this post is stemmed off oftim’s recent post on parents and youth ministry. i don’t know if will go the same direction, but i want to uplift that sharing as critical to this one. a few weeks ago had one of those big parents meeting for our youth ministry. running through the programming and events of the next eight months.