Comments on: Youth Leadership 101: Boundaries and lifestyle issues for youth leaders http://www.studentministry.org/youth-leadership-101-boundaries-and-lifestyle-issues-for-youth-leaders/ Conversations among those passionate for teenagers. Wed, 17 Mar 2010 04:12:55 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: Tim Schmoyer http://www.studentministry.org/youth-leadership-101-boundaries-and-lifestyle-issues-for-youth-leaders/comment-page-1/#comment-174354 Tim Schmoyer Tue, 03 Feb 2009 18:43:16 +0000 http://www.studentministry.org/?p=1531#comment-174354 @Carolyn: I'm curious, how would you put true accountability in place for text messaging? Or even Facebook messages, instant messaging, and email for that matter? Personally, I send text messages to students, but I limit it with girls. If a girl just has a quick question, that's totally fine, but if she's sending me lots of messages asking things about how my day went and everything, then those I usually respond once with a brief answer and leave it at that. @Carolyn: I’m curious, how would you put true accountability in place for text messaging? Or even Facebook messages, instant messaging, and email for that matter? Personally, I send text messages to students, but I limit it with girls. If a girl just has a quick question, that’s totally fine, but if she’s sending me lots of messages asking things about how my day went and everything, then those I usually respond once with a brief answer and leave it at that.

]]> By: carolyn http://www.studentministry.org/youth-leadership-101-boundaries-and-lifestyle-issues-for-youth-leaders/comment-page-1/#comment-174353 carolyn Tue, 03 Feb 2009 18:32:51 +0000 http://www.studentministry.org/?p=1531#comment-174353 Ah, Tim you did not mention the TEXTING!!!! There is no accountability for this one. No trail! This is one that needs to be addressed more than anything. Keep everything in the open, tell another what you are doing, be accountable, above reproach, and work in two's or threes.... If you cannot, before you begin, ask a senior teen to hold you accountable. It gives them a level of maturity and leadership. Ah, Tim you did not mention the TEXTING!!!! There is no accountability for this one. No trail! This is one that needs to be addressed more than anything. Keep everything in the open, tell another what you are doing, be accountable, above reproach, and work in two’s or threes….
If you cannot, before you begin, ask a senior teen to hold you accountable. It gives them a level of maturity and leadership.

]]> By: Tim Schmoyer http://www.studentministry.org/youth-leadership-101-boundaries-and-lifestyle-issues-for-youth-leaders/comment-page-1/#comment-173644 Tim Schmoyer Tue, 27 Jan 2009 19:00:33 +0000 http://www.studentministry.org/?p=1531#comment-173644 @Brian: I agree with you mostly. If there are two adults available, I definitely recommend that both be present. However, I think it's becoming too easy for churches to start crippling ministry out of fear of what <em>could</em> happen. Truth is, there's risk no matter what. The risk is greatly minimized by not allowing opposite sex students and leaders to be alone together, but when you say I can't ever be alone with a kid to talk, I feel like it's slipping into the "crippling the ministry to much" area. I'll feel comfortable taking the risk of driving a guy home once in a while if necessary. @Brian: I agree with you mostly. If there are two adults available, I definitely recommend that both be present. However, I think it’s becoming too easy for churches to start crippling ministry out of fear of what could happen. Truth is, there’s risk no matter what. The risk is greatly minimized by not allowing opposite sex students and leaders to be alone together, but when you say I can’t ever be alone with a kid to talk, I feel like it’s slipping into the “crippling the ministry to much” area. I’ll feel comfortable taking the risk of driving a guy home once in a while if necessary.

]]> By: Brian http://www.studentministry.org/youth-leadership-101-boundaries-and-lifestyle-issues-for-youth-leaders/comment-page-1/#comment-173643 Brian Tue, 27 Jan 2009 18:53:55 +0000 http://www.studentministry.org/?p=1531#comment-173643 "No driving girls alone in your car if you are a guy; no driving guys alone in your car if you’re a girl – EVER" Tim, I agree with this and would go a step further: No driving girls alone if you're a girl. No driving guys alone if your're a guy. My ministries utilize a two adult rule (as do the Boy Scouts and others) which states that at least two adults must be present with youth in any situation. Simply ruling against opposite sex one-one-one situations doesn't account for the fact that you likely have gay youth in your ministry, or gay adults. The two adult rule accounts for all variations. Peace, Brian “No driving girls alone in your car if you are a guy; no driving guys alone in your car if you’re a girl – EVER”

Tim, I agree with this and would go a step further: No driving girls alone if you’re a girl. No driving guys alone if your’re a guy. My ministries utilize a two adult rule (as do the Boy Scouts and others) which states that at least two adults must be present with youth in any situation. Simply ruling against opposite sex one-one-one situations doesn’t account for the fact that you likely have gay youth in your ministry, or gay adults. The two adult rule accounts for all variations.
Peace,
Brian

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