Russ Bowlin, a youth director in Texarkana, Texas, wrote this post for Life In Student Ministry. For reflective and devotional thoughts on youth ministry, visit his blog at Observations & Devotions.
In youth ministry, our position requires that requires we make decisions. A friend of mine, while talking about this subject, once told me, “No matter what decision I make, I’m going to make someone mad.” This may seem slightly pessimistic, but it is extremely important to realize that we’re always going to disappoint someone. Even with this in mind, criticism can be very hard to take. As youth workers, we’re passionate about what we do and we desire to do it to the best of our abilities. So, when someone complains or criticizes what we’re doing, often it can shake our foundation and (many times) completely blind-side us. Here are some things to consider when we are dealing with criticism. I’ve separated it into two sections: personal, and inter-personal. These things should coincide somewhat chronologically (i.e. each of the #1s should occur around the same time).
- Realize that you’re never going to make everyone happy. Cliche, I know, but it’s true.
- Try not to take it personally if it’s about your ministry or programs. This is hard to do, because we are so involved in our ministry that it can almost define us. But if we allow ourselves to take it personally, we lose our ability to look at things objectively, and in any way other than our own views.
- Consider the criticism. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Try to find out why they are concerned. Don’t just dismiss the criticism because you don’t agree, use it as an opportunity to evaluate your ministry- which can cause growth.
- Pray about it. Meditate on it. Struggle with it. Then pray about it some more. After that, act upon your conclusions.
- Trust your calling and trust that God is working with you, which means failure isn’t an option. Read my blog about remembering the importance of your calling.
- Consult your senior pastor, or whoever is your direct superior. Let them know about it, so that they can hear it from you, and know you’re concerned about it. Pastors can offer encouragement and be your biggest ally during difficult times.
- Consult your peers. Tell them like it is. Don’t sugar-coat it or make yourself out to be the victim. Tell them as much of the story as you can. Then ask them to give you advice, and ask for their honest opinion about the matter.
- Consult a mentor that’s been there before. We all know seasoned veterans (if you don’t, find one and glean as much as you can from their experiences). Let them know you need to meet or talk about your ministry. Tell them about the situation and ask for advice.
- Arrange a meeting with the individual(s) that offered the criticism. Explain to them what you’ve been up to: praying, meditating, seeking advice, etc. Then explain your conclusions. Sometimes criticism springs from a lack of understanding. This is a great opportunity to educate the individual(s) about your ministry as well as let them give their opinion and feel like they’ve been heard. Take the opportunity to tell them about how they’ve helped your ministry evolve and improve. Ask them to continue to offer constructive criticism, and request that they be open to assisting in the implementing any changes they suggest.
- Keep your composure as much as possible in these situations. It can be tough, especially when we feel attacked personally, but leaving the door open to criticism can keep your ministry from stagnating, being run by only you, or suffering the effects of groupthink.
Hope this helps. Please add in the comments below your own suggestions and lessons you’ve learned. Help others by sharing the wisdom you’ve gained when you’ve “been there.”
Russ Bowlin is the youth director at Williams Memorial United Methodist Church in Texarkana, Texas. He loves Frisbee golf, building relationships with teenagers and speaking Truth into their lives. Visit his blog at Observations & Devotions.
Posted on September 23, 2008