• http://www.facebook.com/NascarPastor Layton Dutton

    This sounds good, but with our group I have to wonder if this, in our group, would work first of all. Whenever I’ve had a parent meeting or seminar I get maybe 2 sets of parents and one of those is the pastor. Also, would this take more away from teens and parents together. With small groups, Sunday school, youth group and segregated activities, not to mention all the school activities teens are in, is another segregated meeting every week going to fly or be a good idea? I’m not downing them doing it. Every church dynamic is different. I’m just thinking through ours.

    • http://twitter.com/drumdog00 Justin Van Rheenen

      I think the bigger question Layton isn’t “is another segregated meeting every week going to fly or be a good idea” but “is it worth it?”

    • http://timschmoyer.com/ Tim Schmoyer

      Good questions. I think you have to answer the “why?” question behind this, which you kinda are. To me, having a time where the parents and church can strategically link arms will make both far more effective than they could ever be on their own. So yes, it’s worth it.

      However, you have a different issue in that most of your parents don’t appear to value ________ (you’d have to fill in the blank), which causes them not to come to meetings. Or, your meetings are serving you and the ministry and not the parents. Either way, there’s probably a deeper issue you need to address with the parents or the church or both before something like this would be widely successful.

      However, I’d still argue that doing this with only two sets of parents is still better than doing it with none and that hopefully what you do with those two families will spread into the other families. We don’t need 100% involvement for something to be worth it. We just have to believe in why we’re doing it.

    • http://www.facebook.com/tim.gardiner.77 Tim Gardiner

      what about doing something like this monthly instead of doing it every week, i kind of agree with layton. Our parents already dont come to church. So to see them come for this would be a miracle. I would love to link arms with them once a month and let them in on what we are teaching instead of just sending home parent cue type of sheets to parents who dont come to church

  • KJ

    Good thoughts….I know this is an observation about semantics, but I think it’s warranted:

    - We can’t “make” parents into anything….all we can do is encourage, lay groundwork, point to a better way, etc.

    - Nor can we “ensure” parents are the primary disciplers of their children.

    The whole of scripture certainly doesn’t paint a picture of an isolated, silo-driven approach to ministry ( to youth or any demographic), nor does it seem to paint a picture of a “parent-only” model.

    I keep hoping somebody will lead the way with what scripture does point to: A body of believers/community/village mindset of living, learning, growing.

    What Red Door seems to be doing looks as close to this as I’ve seen….so keep it up, and keep keeping us in the loop!

    • http://timschmoyer.com/ Tim Schmoyer

      Good thoughts, Kurt. And you’re right about my poor use of “make” and “ensure.” I do think, however, that the church can do a much better job at pursuing those things than we have, though.

      I haven’t written about this yet, but we are trying to go the body of believers/community/village mindset. Just like Startbucks wants to be the “third place,” we think it’s valuable for teens to have adults who are a “third voice.” It’s different than youth group or even a youth leader as we typically think of, though. More about that later.

      And I wish I could sit down and tell you some stories about a body of believers taking a community/village mindset of living, learning, and growing. This just isn’t how the American church is designed, but I do have hope for it.

  • Youth ministry in yorba linda

    As Charity begins at home.In the same way learning should begin should begin at home.Great idea because parents are the role models for their kids.And by the time the kids join youth ministry they would be aware of most of the things.

  • Steve

    At the beginning of each new teaching series, we invite parents to come sit in on the lesson and then go to their own discussion group with other parents where they will learn all the teachings for that month and then have suggested questions to ask to carry on the discussion at home with their teens.

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  • http://twitter.com/nealc74 Neal Cox

    I wish I could get this to work but I am in a ministry where out of about 60 kids ages 6-18, only about 15 have parents that attend church anywhere. This is a big challenge and right now I’m in a bit of a crisis as to whether I am actually making a difference. There are many adults that seem mad at the kids and teens for being … kids and teens. They fuss and complain how the kids tear this up or they do that. Love is a word that is seldom uttered by anyone outside our volunteer group. Attendance is down now to about 20 teens and 20 kids, and with a recent failure to see what a mess would be made with a object lesson – I now have adult leadership ratcheting down on the group. While I know discipline and responsibility is needed – but so is love. I wanted to repair the cycle that parents passed on their faith and the youth today become the workers of tomorrow. I’m pretty sure I have failed on all accounts.

    • http://timschmoyer.com/ Tim Schmoyer

      I hear ya, Neal. It’s a frustrating and very broken system that’s far from what God intended, both for His church and for families. You’re bumping into some of the consequences of that brokenness.

      I wanna push back on your feelings of failure, though. I think you may believe some things about family and the church that’s causing you to take responsibility for things that Scripture never places on you. This isn’t the place to get into all that, but be encouraged that this isn’t your fault nor your responsibility outside the unfounded expectations placed on you by your paid job. Scripture has different expectations.

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