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Working to Hurt Your Kids [Time Out]

Time Out quiet times for the youth worker's soulTime Out: Weekly quiet times for the youth worker’s soul.
(by Kevin Twolmby)

(In honor of Father’s Day, this week’s post is a special one geared towards an issue and passage typically dealing with dads.  Don’t worry, mom’s can apply it too!)

1 Kings 16:34 – In Ahab’s time, Hiel of Bethel rebuilt Jericho.  He laid its foundations at the cost of his firstborn son Abiram, and he set up its gates at the cost of his youngest son Segub.

When we strive to do things that we are not called to do or push too fast to make them happen people around us suffer.  Here we see a classic example of a workaholic father whose two sons deal with the consequences.  Hiel set about rebuilding Jericho and missed out on the opportunity to be a father to his sons.

I can only imagine that his sons then went on to be rebellious and disrespectful.  Without a father to teach them they probably chased after anyone who would show interest in them.  Having seen this happen a few times my heart grieves for the sons as well as for the father.  They each had desires and dreams that were not attained.

As a father of three I always want to remain balanced in my obligations and responsibilities.  I never want to ignore the needs of my kids to further my positions or roles.  I am mindful that my priorities fall in line from God to family to career and as long as I keep first things first I should remain in a healthy place that will flow into all other relationships I have.

Questions to ask yourself (and really work through these, maybe write out your answers…)

What are the things that are out of line with your priorities?

What conversations do you need to have to recalibrate those priorities?

Who do you have in your life that can pick up on the misdirections that you are taking and speak up about them?

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Kevin Twombly has been the Generations Pastor at Grace Capital Church in Pembroke, NH for the last 10 years. During this time the youth group has grown from 1 student (church plant) to a thriving group of over 150 students that meet weekly for a large group and small group setting. Kevin is a very relational leader who desires to equip others in Youth Ministry in order to continue to expand the Kingdom of God.


Posted on June 22, 2010

  • George

    I'm not sure you've correctly understood this passage. In Joshua 6:26, Joshua pronounced a curse against anyone who rebuilt the city of Jericho. In both passages (Josh. 6:26 & 1 Ki. 16:334), the "cost" is not the loss of relationship with his sons or a turning away from God of his sons, but the very lives of these young men. God called Joshua to declare that Jericho was never to be rebuilt, and that the penalty for disobedience would be the death of the builder's children. And Hiel of Bethel disobeyed God and paid that price.

  • Jeff B.

    I agree with George. I think you have some good stuff about making sure you have time for the family, but have taken this passage out of context, we need to make sure we do our research when we are teaching from scripture.

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