Well, it’s official now — I’m stressed. The cold sores are starting to appear in my mouth and I’m always pretty tired. Of course, that could be due to the fact that I temporarily escape into Guild Wars until later than usual, too. This whole week has just been very hard and painful. I find that it’s a struggle to remain focused on whatever task is before me and sometimes find myself sitting alone doing nothing but thinking and praying. The only thing that could probably hurt worse than this is if my little brother and sister were killed by someone. Granted, there have been moments of relief and I can say that the week has consistantly become better than when it started, but it’s still very hard. Only God knows how all this will play out, so I keep going back to James 1 knowing that God uses pain to grow us, mature us, and refine us into who we need to be. The process feels like it’s stabbing me to death, but I know somehow the end result will be for His glory.

Posted on September 30, 2005