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Students want quality time more than anything else

More than anything else, students want people to spend time with them.

A bunch of my youth group kids took an online love language test I posted on our youth group site and all of them, except one, scored highest in “quality time.” The one exception is a student who feels loved most through “acts of service,” but even that was only ahead of “quality time” by one point.

The application is clear: more than anything else, students want people to spend time with them. Quality time with a kid communicates love more than gifts, saying nice things, hugs, doing nice things for them, preparing great Bible studies or even putting together fun youth group events. If you want to impact a student, drop whatever you’re doing that probably feels important to you and instead go do something that’s important to them. Just hang out and have fun. That communicates more than you know.

And get their parents to do the same!


Posted on October 15, 2007

  • I asked my middle school students last week how many of them wished their parents spent more time with them. At least 90% of the hands went up. That says a lot!

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  • What a great idea with the online love language test. Thanks for the link!

  • Great idea about getting youth to do the test, Tim. Some time ago I realised that my primary love language was quality time.

    A couple of ongoing thoughts for the pot:

    1. Sometimes quality time only comes out of quantity time.By that, I mean that it isn’t always possible to schedule quality time with someone but quality moments just occur when you spend quantity time with them

    2. In what ways are you incorporating the information [that the majority vote was for quantity time] into your ministry planning and delivery? Do you think something may have to change?

  • Tim

    @ Nigel: Quality time with students is the direction I’ve been trying to take us ever since I started in this position, so no, it doesn’t show us what needs to change as much as it shows us that we’re already heading in the right direction.

    Another student took the quiz since I posted this and guess what, another “quality time” came out on top.

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